Looks.

         "He was dangerously attractive... until he spoke."

       This one is for all of the guys out there, the ones who spend their days wandering around the planet, aimlessly enduring failed relationship attempts, broken ego's and crushed illusions. It's for the guys who prance about and continually complain about girls 'high standards' and how no real man will ever be able to live up to the Cosmopolitan Magazine expectation of 'divine stallion'. Yes, you. The guy whining about the girl that got away because he ate one too many Big Macs, or the rejections that occurred because women have an unrealistic image of the perfect muscular man. Your assumptions are false. 9 chances out of ten, it had little to do with your visual appearance and everything to do with your presentation, charm and whether or not you wear glasses. ;)

       I have always noticed that from afar, a person can only reach a certain level of 'attractive' until they speak. For me, this may be dramatized due to my openly poignant love affair with words, but it pertains to most educated individuals in search of the perfect mate. The second a correctly constructed sentence is uttered from a mans mouth, the hot pepper meter begins to steam [10 extra points if Mr. Magnificent is wearing glasses, and 5 for lint free clothing]. Intelligence and cleanliness are far more appealing traits than any bicep or ab could ever become. The good news, boys, is that she didn't reject you for your jelly belly or lack of muscle mass. In a few short weeks, you can learn the difference between 'their, they're and there' and be well on your way to finding lady love. The bad news is that this effect can also work both ways...

       At first glance, he's everything that I've ever looked for in a man. The perfect tan, 6 feet tall and eyes that could pierce further than any Shakespearian dagger. I would have married him on the spot if he hadn't uttered a double negative. Although the fact that he 'didn't know nothing' about the Beatles [meaning he knew SOMETHING]despite what he thought it meant, was enticing - I'll have to pass. Looks can be deceiving.

       The lesson in this rant being: read a book instead of watching MadTV, brush your teeth after eating that BigMac, buy a pair of faux glasses and never EVER mix up 'you're and your'.